i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The beer is more important than you right now.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
