; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just had sex on a roof
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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