lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
