I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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