found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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