i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
