I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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