Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize