I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
