Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
