I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
