STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Holy sore nipples Batman
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I did not marry a roomba.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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