They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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