i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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