i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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