Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
