Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
