you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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