girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
