If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm at about main and main street
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
