arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
