u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
