so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
