It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
