I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
