let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We are two peas in an std pod
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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