i barfeds in our rink
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
