im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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