I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
