i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
