I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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