weddingsv make me drug and hornr
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
