I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
