Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
