ADVERTISEMENT

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.

  Fav 140 3359 975

  share tweet
  

• (925): View more from California

  anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.

  Fav 21 5584 1172

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that

  Fav 24 4339 2112

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate

  Fav 3 5089 1295

  share tweet
  

• (906): View more from Michigan

  I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.

  Fav 5 2118 3048

  share tweet
  

• (601): View more from Mississippi

  We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.

  Fav 12 3856 1207

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.

  Fav 11 2092 982

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.

  Fav 3 709 1079

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad

  Fav 7 1860 800

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went

  Fav 0 740 465

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling

  Fav 0 832 509

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (216): View more from Ohio

  I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.

  Fav 2 730 302

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.

  Fav 0 170 111

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.

  Fav 0 43 5

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices

  Fav 0 20 20

  share tweet
  

Randomize