Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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