similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
