5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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