It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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