im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
