Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Randomize
