I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
