what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
