so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
