i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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