I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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