Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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