Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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