I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I've blown a few things in my day
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
