Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just gargled with NyQuil
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
