your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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