so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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