I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
