who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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