he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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