I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
