did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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