look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
