This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
